One Week Before Surgery: My Honest Thoughts Before Endometriosis Excision & Hysterectomy

In one week, I will be having endometriosis excision surgery and a hysterectomy.

And if I am being completely honest… my anxiety is starting to kick in.

Over the past few days, my mind has been going in a hundred different directions. Part of me keeps wondering if I somehow made up the symptoms – the terrible cramps, the constant back pain, the pain running down my legs, the bloating, and the heaviness I feel almost every day.

What if they get in there and don’t find anything?

That thought has crossed my mind more times than I would like to admit.

But at the same time, another part of me hopes they do find something. Not because I want anything to be wrong with my body but because it would validate everything I have been feeling for years. It would mean that I’m not “crazy,” and that there is a real reason for the pain I have been living with.

And hopefully, it means they can help eliminate most, if not all of that pain.

Strangely, I Am Not Afraid of the Surgery

What surprises me the most is that I don’t actually feel nervous about the surgery itself.

I am not worried about the anesthesia or being in the operating room. I trust my doctor and know I will be in good hands.

What I am worried about is the outcome and the recovery.

If I am being honest, I probably did what many people do before a major surgery – I researched a little too much. Between Google searches and watching way too many videos on social media, I have seen both sides of recovery.

Some women bounce back quickly. Others have a much longer, harder recovery.

I am hopeful my recovery won’t be terrible, but when you see the more difficult experiences online, it can definitely make your mind spiral a little.

The Mental Struggle of Slowing Down

One thing I know for sure is that I will need to slow down.

My doctor has made it clear that recovery will take time, likely around eight weeks before I can fully return to normal activity.

And mentally, that part is hard for me.

I want to be a good mom and a good wife. I want to help around the house. I want to play with my son. I don’t want to feel like a burden; even though I know deep down that my family would never see me that way.

Still, the idea of stepping back and allowing my body to rest is something I know I will have to learn during this recovery.

But I Am Also Excited for the Future

Despite the anxiety, there is another feeling that keeps showing up: excitement.

For the first time in a long time, I feel hopeful about the future.

I keep imagining what life might feel like without constant pain.

What it might feel like to work out harder. To move my body without worrying about cramps or flare-ups. To live an active lifestyle and be able to challenge myself.

For the past two years, I’ve had running a half marathon on my vision board.

Last May, I had to put that dream on pause. We moved twice, and my pain was getting worse and worse. Training for something like that simply wasn’t realistic.

But recently, I put that goal back on my vision board.

If everything goes well, I should be feeling like a new woman by June. That gives me plenty of time to train and work toward that goal.

The thought of challenging myself physically again and seeing what my body is capable of after healing makes me incredibly excited.

Focusing on the Positives

Over the next week, I am going to focus on the positives.

I am reminding myself that the outcome of surgery is out of my control. What is in my control is how I approach recovery.

I plan to take it one day at a time, listen to my body, and give myself the grace to heal.

This surgery is not just an ending – it’s the beginning of a new chapter.

And I am hopeful that chapter includes less pain, more movement, and a life that feels lighter than it has in years.